What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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