and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize