I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You can't just leave with hair like that
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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