I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize