It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
