he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
