rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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