i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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