we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
