Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
