just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
