ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize