Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
