There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
