making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
