weddingsv make me drug and hornr
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The power of my boobs compel you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
