She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
why is half of my head shaved?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize