all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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