Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
and you fell through a lawn chair
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
