And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
My orgasm happened in two different decades
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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