I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize