I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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