Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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