you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He shit in the fireplace
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
