Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize