I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
