i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Can you bring me the toilet please
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
