don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
