So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
