Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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