I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
