I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
