I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
