whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
