I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
