he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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