i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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