Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let's get the cat blown out
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
