pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He kissed a someone with a penis
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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