I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We're not piercing ourselves today.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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