she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
