shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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