YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
