Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
