oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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