I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just found puke in my bra..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize