2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
