sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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