the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
