is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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