So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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