Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
