She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
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You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
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I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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