At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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