Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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