I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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