Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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