we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...