Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.