ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  So how was last night?

  (1-310): View more from California

  Let's just say I danced with the devil

  (310): View more from California

  Huh?

  (1-310): View more from California

  I'm going to Hell for sure

  Fav 5 1635 820

  share tweet
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck

  Fav 24 5021 1218

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (917): View more from New York City

  So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat

  Fav 9 1043 6089

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.

  Fav 42 6674 1962

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (910): View more from North Carolina

  It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.

  Fav 34 1812 4807

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.

  Fav 11 4353 1122

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (347): View more from New York

  They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me

  Fav 4 1546 876

  share tweet
  

• (501): View more from Arkansas

  As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is

  Fav 2 741 1929

  share tweet
  

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.

  Fav 4 1541 695

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (916): View more from California

  I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.

  Fav 7 1302 784

  share tweet
  

• (712): View more from Iowa

  He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.

  Fav 3 758 1155

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (619): View more from California

  You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing

  (1-619): View more from California

  Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this

  (619): View more from California

  ...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...

  Fav 4 1533 790

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09

  Fav 4 1451 604

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.

  Fav 1 763 584

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (812): View more from Indiana

  He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning

  Fav 1 808 351

  share tweet
  

Randomize