Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
