its not stalking. its research.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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