Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
