when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
