i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
