i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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