so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
